"Listen - it's Ted...He needs to move out."

Known Operations




Initial Heart Rate

60 BPM (AS1)
78 BPM (AS4)

Time Limit

4:59 (AS1)
2:01 (AS4)

Joe is the sixth patient in Act 2 of Amateur Surgeon and is the 40th patient in Amateur Surgeon 4: Re-Generations.

Amateur Surgeon Edit

Reeking of terrible garbage smell, Joe asks Alan Probe and Dr. Bleed to help kick out his "roommate", who is in reality a tapeworm living off of Joe, nicknamed "Ted ". Using the car battery, Alan is able to kill the offending tapeworm. Joe feels extremely guilty afterward, since Ted was supposedly his only friend.

Alan's Description Edit

The patient is a down-and-out vagrant who smells suspiciously bad and appears to be slightly deranged, and....wait, is this Dr. Bleed's file again?

Ha ha, Alan. -DR. Bleed

Patient complains that he is housing an unwanted "guest", whom he now wants to evict. Seeing as the patient is without a permanent address, this may take some working out. Find out the location of the "guest" and show him the door!

Joe pre-op

Joe pre-op

Procedure Edit

Simply heal the large and small cuts as normal. There's going to be A LOT of small cuts you'll need to fix. When you first encounter the tapeworm, he will be hiding inside Joe's intestine. You'll have to wait for him to pop his head out, then shock him with the battery. He will then retreat back inside and continue his regular pattern. Simply wait for him to pop out again and shock him like before.

After you shock him for the third time, Ted will retreat from the area. You'll notice that when you arrive back outside, Ted has left more wounds on Joe's body. When entering him again, you'll find Ted inside the heart, the final battleground. Shock Ted 3 times in a row and he's fried. You'll have to find the dead worm afterward with the etchy-sketchy/scanner. Extract with the tongs and patch up leftover wounds.

Level Dialogue Edit

Before surgery Edit

Joe: Uh...Guys? Will you help me?

Alan Probe: I think we should be able to... Whew! What did you do, eat a bunch of garbage and then sleep in a dumpster?

Joe: Yeah... I guess, pretty much. Sorry. Listen - it's Ted... He needs to move out.

Alan Probe: ...

Joe: Uh, Ted's my tapeworm.

After surgery Edit

Joe: Oh man...Ted! What have i done? Oh man...

Alan Probe: Hey! He was a giant, gross parasite who was slowly killing you! What are you upset about!

Joe: Yeah. But... He was my only friend.

Alan Probe: Huh. Well, i guess they say it's those closet to our hearts that can hurt us the most.

Bleed: I don't think they meant it in a strictly anatomical sense, Alan...

Beautiful scene

Alan's beautiful quote

Trivia Edit

  • Joe's deformed head is seen dangling from the side of the Meat-O-Tron in the Cyber Showdown Blood Cup.


Patients in Amateur Surgeon

Act 1

Dr. Ignacious BleedTommy GracefulsRoadkill CletusInsurance Fraud ClaudeTrent CoatJunkyard GutsLumbar JackEddy the DogMeatsack JackHorrace

Act 2

Officer BrutalityVince BlownapartValerieEdgar StubbingtonDonny DebonairStinkin' Joe GarbageBugeater PeterKarl PuccinoAnimalEddy the Dog

Act 3

Trent CoatBugeater PeterCrime Boss & Ivan HenchmanJunkyard GutsAureolaDr. Ignacious BleedHorrace

Secret Files

Bio-Utility MechanoidStupormanDeLirium
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